You don’t have to own it to enjoy it !
Isn’t this a liberating statement ? One of my top values is freedom and I just love the freedom this statement creates for me. Let me explain.
For many people it is desirable and for some it is even exciting to work hard in order to buy (and own) a bigger house, a bigger car, a bigger (fill in the blank). Owning the land, the house, the car etc etc. provides a sense of achievement and the peace of mind, that nobody can take this away again. In fact, I have many coaching clients you are striving to own their own dream house so that they can relax, be safe, have peace of mind.
They are accepting to work hard and to sacrifice their current life for the future dream life. Some never reach the dream life, or they reach it so late, they don’t have time to enjoy it anymore. You already know all this. But here is something more.
Have you ever realized that owning the big estate and all the other things that go with it, are actually restricting your freedom ? The more you own, the more trapped you get: trapped in responsibility to maintain it, to protect it, preserve it and hold the status quo. You start worrying about losing it all again. So after all the hard work, you get the prize and more worries and responsibilities come as a bonus.
Do you remember those days in university or the first days at your first job when you owned little, had a small room or apartment and few things to worry about ? Do you remember the freedom you felt ? Life was comparatively simple, you enjoyed it and you had peace of mind.
Lately, I have been both longing for the simplicity those days had as well as living in my dream location (don’t we always want it all !) and suddenly I had this insight:
You don’t have to own it to enjoy it !
I realized that there are many more ways of enjoying what I want without necessarily owning it. I can enjoy a beautiful holiday spot without necessarily owning a place there, I can enjoy a beautiful painting without needing to own it etc.
My personal dream is to live in a cosy, spacious, airy and light-flooded house in the midst of green countryside. So far, I thought I would have to be able to afford the house and enough land around it to create my dream. With this new insight a whole new set of possibilities emerged. Why not live in “someone else’s garden”, i.e. have a house in the countryside with little land owned by me and lot of common land around for me to use ? Or why not live in a park and find a way to be of value to the park owner ? Of course all of these options come with their specific compromises attached but the point is, I would not even have considered them. The possibility of reaching my dream in other ways gets me excited, feeling alive.
The advantage of this new set of ideas is that I would get the benefit of enjoying the views and surroundings without being responsible for them. I can contribute to them as much as I want rather than having to. I would be freer to do whatever I want to do with my time. And finally, the less you own, the easier it is to move on if I felt like it - another form of freedom.
What can you enjoy without needing to own it ?
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