What is Success to YOU ?
We all want to be successful, right ? With my many clients as a personal and business coach, I have never heard of anyone who does not want to be successful. The question is not about whether or not you want success but, who you let decide whether you have it or not. You’ll feel like saying “Me, of course ! I decide.” But the answer is not as straightforward as that !
The majority of people assess their success by external factors such as the approval of others (boss, neighbours, friends etc), the money they earn, the wealth they have accumulated, the job title they carry, or the medals they win. If my clients become aware of WHOSE judgement of their success they are accepting (who sets the salary structure, who decides about promotions etc) they often realize that it is a very small group of people, just a handful around them at work or at school, in the neighbourhood or the leisure club, and by no means everyone. When asked who would NOT see them as successful, they are also always able to name specific people.
At this point, they become aware, and question themselves why they place certain people’s judgement about them and their success above that of others. The breakthrough comes when they realize it is THEIR CHOICE. They are then empowered to decide whether they want to continue having their success judged by the same small group of people. Most of my clients say NO. They point out that they don’t even like some of those people and are not looking up to their bosses or neighbours or whoever else … That is when they make a powerful conscious choice about who should be judging whether they are successful or not. In most cases it is their loved one’s and always “themselves” ! At that point my clients experience tremendous power. They are in charge, setting their own success measurements. And these look very different.
From then on, they measure their success by how well they live according to their values, how true they stay to themselves, how authentically they are living, how meaningful their work is to them ! If they have found their purpose, they measure it against fulfilling it. Success is not just about HAVING anymore: having a job title, salary, wealth, status symbols, influential friends etc. Suddenly, success is about BEING and the DOING that comes from being who you want to be. Success becomes intensely personal.
You cannot know anymore whether the CEO of a major company is more successful than the unemployed single-mother. It is up to them. And is up to YOU to decide how successful you are ! No one can tell you, no one can judge your success other than you – unless you let them and accept their standards. Now you will say “But part of the fun of being successful is being recognized for it ! Wouldn’t I lose all the fun of it ? What’s the point in being successful if nobody notices ?” Of course people will notice ! But in a completely different way. First of all, those, who know you most closely, will know and see your success. Secondly, those further away from you will notice whether YOU see yourself as successful or not. People unconsciously take their clues from your way of speaking, walking, interacting and holding yourself. All of these things give away clues about what you think about yourself. So believe in your unique way of being successful, and let it show. If it feels difficult to you, start by acting “as if” you are sure about your unique perception of success. People who appear confident come across as successful !
Your Perfect Summer Holiday in the Bavarian Alps
Entries RSS
July 5th, 2007 at 1:40 am
[...] is why you need to set your own personal goals for what you consider success. Only you can define this success and no one else. Various people have different ways they like to tackle the process of goal [...]
August 25th, 2007 at 9:18 am
[...] your friends or coach and further thinking on the matter. Do you agree with him ? To me personally, success is courageously fighting for living according to one’s own values (for that you need to know [...]
February 29th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
[...] few months ago I have written about a similar topic “What is Success for You ?” and today I have to do so [...]