How To Succeed With New Years Resolutions
SETTING NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS THAT WORK
Do you belong to those who have given up setting New Year’s Resolutions because you came to the conclusion that they don’t work for you ? Then you have come to the right place.
Most NY Resolutions fail for 3 reasons:
1. Your resolution is actually a favour to someone else and YOU don’t REALLY want the result (e.g. I’ll be nicer to my nagging mother-in-law). After the first 3 weeks you are back to believing that that mother-in-law actually deserves a kick up the backside.
2. You haven’t made is strong, it’s way too vague and non-specific (e.g. I’ll exercise more and eat more healthy – that resolution is achieved after one extra apple and taking the stairs instead of the lift once, but is that what you meant ? ). Often people set negatively phrased NY Resolutions (e.g. I’ll no more alcohol during the week). Such resolutions are so uninspiring, that you are setting yourself up for disaster. What would you like to do instead ? Compare the previous resolution with this one: “Everytime I’ll feel like a drink during the week, I’ll make myself a yummy fruit cocktail and call my friend”.
Finally, most resolutions are phrased as “Have” or “Do” resolutions (e.g. I want to “have” more money or I will “do” more sports). The most powerful resolutions, however, have 3 parts: a “Be”, a “Do” and a “Have” part. To “have” more money, you need to commit to “doing” something more or different and “being” a different person, e.g. more courageous or more organized.
3. You aren’t prepared to work for it (e.g. I will lose 10 kg next year). If there is no real benefit to YOU of losing any weight, then why bother ? Doctor’s warnings etc are all nice and well, but you need to make it personally desirable to have a chance to succeed. Losing 10kg to prevent diseases feels rather tedious. Losing 10kg to be able to play football with your son again or to take part in those hiking excursions that sound like so much fun, is a completely different matter.
Not wanting to work for a resolution is actually a result of not really wanting the end result. I am dead certain, if you really really want something you will move the earth to get it. So the secret is to put your goal in a way that makes it irresistibly attractive to YOU.
And then, there is commitment – deciding that you will simply do it, give it a full blown try despite your doubts and hesitations. Wrestling with your own inner voice is almost the hardest part but I will share some techniques with you below that get that inner voice to go on vacation.
So let’s dive into the
DEVELOP & GROW “New Year’s Resolutions That Work” Process (copyrighted – a proprietory process for your private use only – see below)
STEP 1: Set Your New Year’s Resolution
Whether you already thought of some resolutions or haven’t even started, your main aim now is to create some goals for the next 12 months which really get you excited. To help you with that, use the following exercise.
Journey Into The Future:
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and become conscious of your muscles. Start by concentrating on the muscles in your lower back. Every time you breathe out let the tension go and feel how your muscles become more relaxed. Move your consciousness to the muscles in your upper back and your shoulders, breathe away any tension there, then move on into your arms, hands and fingers. Travel up your neck and remove any tension here before you raise further to your jaw, face and scalp. Now do the same thing moving down and breathing away tension in your chest, stomach, pelvis, thighs and then calves and feet.
As you continue to breathe in and out, imagine yourself one year from now.
Think about what would make this coming year your best year ever ? What would not just make it good but exceptional and outstanding ?
Really think about what is truly important to YOU ! What would be a great place or situation to be in, in 12 months from now ? What would be a place or situation you would be proud to be in ?
In that place or situation: What do you notice …? What do you see around you ? Who do you see around you ? What sort of things do these people say ? Which other sounds do you hear in that wonderful place one year from now ?
How does it feel in that space ? Really check in with yourself, what does it feel like in that beautiful place or situation 12 months from today ?
What’s the air like and the light ? What does it smell of ? Take in the whole atmosphere of you in 12 months from now and paint as colourful and vivid a picture in your mind as you can.
Once you have a detailed mental picture that feels fabulous to you, you can take a break.
Now go back to imagine that you are in this future situation or place, whatever it was that needed to change or be done to get there, has happened. Imagining that you are already 12 months into the future, you will look back at the past 12 months as from that future place they are already history. Imagine you HAVE made this year your best year ever ! WOW. See yourself one year from now sitting in a comfy chair, satisfied and exhilarated reflecting back upon the past 12 months.
What kind of person were you in those 12 months ? How were you different than before ? How would those closest to you describe how you were in ? Listen to their words. How would other (less close) people describe you.
What changes did you make in the last 12 months ? What exactly did you do ? What did you achieve ? What was different ? What did you like best about it and what did you like least ? What did your partner say to the things you had changed or achieved in those 12 months ? Which other people made comments and which one’s ?
Now notice your breathing again, in and out. At the count of 3 you will be opening your eyes and come back feeling relaxed and refreshed but you will not talk for another 2 minutes. I am counting: 3, noticing the sounds around you, 2 stretching your arms and legs and 1, open your eyes and come back.
Take the sheet in front of you and write down the details of your journey into the future. A few questions are there to help you remember it. This is only for yourself and you will not need to share your notes with anyone.
Now take a few minutes to write down your thoughts:
JOURNEY INTO THE FUTURE
| In your thoughs, what was exciting about the New Year ? | |
| What exactly made the New Year your best year ever ? | |
| What kind of person were you in the New Year ? | |
| What did you do that was different ? | |
| Other Thoughts (e.g. what else was different) : |
Now use the above notes to phrase an inspiring goal or resolution for the next 12 months. Be bold. For now, don’t worry about how you will achieve it, just make sure you are truly excited about it.
My New Years Resolution
This year I truly want to:________________________________________________
STEP 2: Boost Your New Year’s Resolutions Strength
Have a look at the statement you’ve just written and use the following strength boosters:
* Is the resolution mine ? Is it something that I truly want not something I should be wanting (or my my husband/wife/partner, my kids, my parents etc want) ? If necessary, rephrase it to something that YOU truly want and care about. Do it right now.
* Is it phrased in the positive (e.g. I will eat healthy food rather than I won’t eat chocolate anymore) ? If not, turn it into a positive NOW.
*Does it make you enthusiastic and inspire you ? If not, rework it.
* Does it fit into your life and is it realistic, i.e. do you believe that you can do it ? Being able to fly without technical help wouldn’t be realistic. Change it to make it realistic (while keeping it exciting).
* Is is measurable ? Ask yourself how you would know that you have achieved your resolution ? What would be a tangible sign that you are there ? Make sure you include this in your resolution.
STEP 3: Complete Your New Year’s Resolution
Every goal and every resolution has 3 parts, a “Be”, a “Do” and a “Have” part. Usually we phrase our resolutions as either a “Be”, a “Do” or a “Have” resolution, e.g. “I want to have 5 more regular clients (“have”) or “I want to go to gym twice a week( “do”) ” or “I want to be a great friend who takes time and listens(“be”)”.
To succeed with your New Years Resolution you need to be aware of all 3 parts. So go ahead and determine whether your resolution above is a “Be”, a “Do” or a “Have” resolution. Then write your resolution into the respective column. Now you are ready to find its two partners in the remaining column.
BE-DO-HAVE Table
| BE | DO | HAVE |
| I AM a sporty person. |
I will GO to the gym at least 3 times a week | I want to HAVE a beautiful body |
STEP 3: Commit To Your New Year’s Resolution
Specifically commit to the “Be” (I am a sporty person) and “Do” (I exercise at least 3 times a week) parts of your resolution and the “Have” part (I will have a great body) will come automatically.
Now think about your resolution one last time and say YES to it in your mind. Write it into the YES column below. If you say wholeheartedly YES to your resolution, what will you have to NO to in order to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to achieve. Write the answers into the YES/NO table.
YES-NO Table
| YES | NO |
| BE (copy from above) | |
| DO (copy from above) |
If you have trouble here are a few questions to help you:
So what’s at stake if you are who you want to be ? What it is at stake if you don’t ?
What’s at stake if you do what you want to do ? What happens if you don’t ?
Everything in your “NO” column is making space for your new resolution to come to life.
Find a partner and discuss your YES/NO table to complete it. What could throw you off track ? What else do you have to say yes/no to to reach your destination ?
Look over your yes/no table. This is your plan ! How alive is the plan on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being thrillingly alive and 1 a dead fish.
If it is 8-10, discuss with your partner how you will celebrate.
If it is not 8-10. Think about why not ? What would have to change ?
STEP 4: Your Final New Year’s Resolution Statement
Writing your New Year’s Resolution down is a key ingredient for staying committed. If it’s not written down, we tend to change the wording in line with our action/non-action. “I will go to the gym 3 times a week” changes into “I will go to the gym at least once a week” etc.
So fill in the commitment statement below, date and sign it. Then write a second copy and put it in an envelope. Mark your address on it and give it to a friend to mail it to you in 6 weeks. Alternatively put the closed envelope in your calendar and only open it in 6 weeks.
I _____________ fully commit to saying YES to _____________________
and saying NO to _____________________________________________
My immediate action is _____________________________________. And I will do this by ___________________ .
I will make it happen !
_____________________
Signature and Date
Congratulations ! You have now made a commitment to yourself. Here are some further tips on how to keep it:
- make an even more detailed plan (stay flexible as you go)
- talk about it/ enroll others
- hold yourself accountable by setting milestones and checking them
- set up a system of reminders (e.g. wear your watch on the other hand)
- hang up your resolution where you can see it regularly
- acknowledge success and reward yourself / celebrate
- find a partner and ask to hold each other accountable (set a date to check in on each other). Alternatively engage a good coach.
Good luck ! And a very happy next 12 months !
The Develop & Grow “New Year’s Resolutions That Work” Process is proprietory to www.developandgrow.com. You can use it privately. Any commercial use requires prior written consent by the owner of www.developandgrow.com.
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