How to be courageous ?
As an executive life coach I meet a lot of clients who wish to be more courageous. Winston Churchill once described courage as “the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others.” In our daily lives this is very true indeed. I have long held a fascination with what makes us act, take a decision or move forwards in any way in our lives. I must say “Courage” does play the first part in this.
In my view courage can be divided into physical courage, which is exemplified through specific individual acts of bravery, such as those displayed by ordinary human beings being placed in extraordinary circumstances: the firefighters of 9/11 in New York, or indeed policemen, paramedics and soldiers who have to use physical bravery in their jobs.
The other type of courage is moral courage. “Courage is a moral quality; it is not a chance gift of nature like an aptitude for games. It is a cold choice between two alternatives, the fixed resolve not to quit; an act of renunciation which must be made not once but many times by the power of the will. Courage is will power”. (Lord Moran).
Moral courage is the bravery to stand up for and live with a system of personal values, which are tested everyday. It is a consistent courage that is not tested through a single act of self sacrifice or intense action; instead a steady resolve that we draw upon in our relationships with others around us. This is the courage of the peace activist, the nurse, the cancer patient, the refugee, the unemployed, the average human being who goes to work everyday to feed his family and earn a living. In a world where the pursuit of values is on the rise again the ability to take a stand and let life throw whatever it can at us and move forward without giving up. To consistently and unassumingly take the good and the bad on a daily basis and still maintain values, character and a sense of humor is indeed the reality of moral courage.
“There are men for whom it is nothing to go and die in battle. They are supported by something else , by religion or a cause. I think they are wrongly attributed with courage. I think courage is what fills the gap between what you would prefer to do and what you have to do. To measure courage, measure the stress that people have to undergo to do what they do and still keep a cheerful face and achieve their aims. Courage is coping with stress.” (Captain Ian Gardiner, 45 Commando Royal Marines quoted in “Above All Courage” by Max Arthur). I really agree with Captain Gardiner, so many of us get through life facing daily stresses and showing incredible courage, but do not congratulate ourselves for our achievement.
I attended a seven day course recently. The first four days of learning, team exercises, drills and practices, resonated with me. The last three days took me to a different plane of thought, into an area which I neither believe in, nor agree with. During these three days I was tempted on various occasions to either voice my strong disagreement with the course leader (risking to sabotage the entire course), bring up my own arguments against the ideas being put forth, or even walk out in protest.
However, I did neither of the above and participated to the best of my abilities, overriding my doubts and disbeliefs, yet knowing that at times even being there was difficult.
Did I show a lack of courage in staying on the course even though I disagreed with the material being presented. Or did I exhibit courage in staying to the end and actually completing something, that at various stages stretched me way beyond my comfort zone. Perhaps there was courage in both. Indeed I could have left, argued or indeed ensured my values and beliefs were made public and imposed at the cost of the values and beliefs of the course leader and other attendees. Almost all of whom believed in the course content and wanted to use it positively in their lives.
I stayed and stretched myself, without making my own beliefs public. Both were paths of courage, however, I believe that I took the route of moral courage, where I felt mental and physical discomfort, stress and yet for the good of others stayed the course. I also stayed to challenge myself, to go beyond my own comfort zone and break into the unknown, learning more about myself.
In my coaching clients, I see courage all the time. They take courageous decisions and follow them up with courageous action in their daily lives. Sometimes I need to point it out to them, encouraging them to celebrate their self development. Sometimes, they see their acts as ordinary and yet they are constantly pushing themselves, breaking through their comfort zones and courageously showing leadership in their lives.
What is courageous for you ? Where do you see courage in your daily life ? Think about it…..
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