for a quick assessment of the state of your life and your satisfaction with it, the wheel of life is an excellent tool. I have described this tool in a previous post, but just found this electronic version of the wheel of life. Enjoy !

I have worked on this with numerous clients and this summer, when realizing my dream of moving to and coaching from our beautiful new location in the Alps, I have experienced the full blast of it myself.

To create the life you really want, you most likely need to break with the familiar, “break shells and bust out of boxes that may have become quite familiar and neatly decorated, lined with the soft illusion of safety”. This is likely to be painful. Staying where you are is certainly easier, yet the question is: does it make you happy ?

Once you have become clear about what really matters to you, what uniquely defines success for you, you are ready to take the jump, make the changes towards a life that is more aligned with who you are inside. At that moment you can garantuee, absolutely garantuee that your inner critic, that voice that says “don’t try”, “it won’t work”, “you are crazy, stay where you are”, “what if you won’t make enough money”, etc etc will shout out its objections loud and clear. People around you might join in, pointing out all the risks….all the risks whether real or just their own fears and worries.

It is very important for you to know, that it is inevitable that your inner voice will point out all your fears, most likely blown out of proportions. This doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path. The fact, that your inner critic presents those worries and counter arguments so strongly, is a sign that you are on the right path, the path to fulfillment, to becoming alive !
The way to handle those objections is not to give up and return to where you were, but to explore those worries “you will not make enough money and starve”, and cut them back to realistic size “well, I will earn less at first, but I will survive, won’t starve”. Or maybe you realize them as your parents’/grandpa’s/teacher’s old voice. Ask yourself, what life would be like if you it stayed as it is for the rest of your life. Would that be ok for you ?

Knowing that you can expect those objections to come up is 90% of the battle won, because you are prepared, ready to tackle them, rather then being tackled by them.

When we had decided to leave Dubai and move to our dream location in the alpine countryside (with no major industry nearby), we had our own inner critical voices as well as many parents and people around us pointing out the risks. We could have kept talking and day-dreaming about it and stayed where we were.
Having taken the jump, gone through restoring an old house this summer (work I had no idea how to do) and creating our new home and coaching base was the best thing we have ever done. We are living the outdoor life, climbing mountains, cycling along lakes and running through the fields. We spend loads of time together as a family and engage with our neighbours. And we are helping other people realize their unique definition of a fabulous life, coaching them from this magical place – mostly on the phone.

But, yes, moving along the road of fulfillment is a RADICAL act. It is not about not having fear, it is about keeping going despite the fears, knowing that what lies on the other side is worth it.

This is a great time to STOP and reflect upon an few questions:

- Where is your life like the rat racer’s ?
- Where are you racing to ?
- What is the impact of the rat race on who you are ?
- What do you want from your life right now ? And who is stopping you ?

Often, we are so busy racing, that we do not even have the time to stop and think ! Yet, the truth is that we gain time by stopping our busyness, by taking a look at the bigger picture of our lives, by finding out what really matters and then focusing and prioritizing on those few big things.

Why are you hurrying ?
What would happen if you didn’t ? Come on, really, what is at stake if you slowed things down ? Might you have more fun ?

Here is a touching song a friend of mine sent me:

I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why

Don’t know why I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It’s not new
But it’ll do zero to sixty in five point two

I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why

Can’t be late, I leave in plenty of time
Shakin’ hands with the clock
I can’t stop
I’m on a roll and I’m ready to rock

I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why

Oh, I hear a voice
That says I’m running behind
Better pick up my pace
It’s a race and there ain’t no room for someone in second place

I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why

Lately, I have been getting very tired and not sleeping very well. As a result, I have been tired, irritable and down – in fact, not my usual self. This has negatively impacted my relationship with my family, a primary value of mine. I have been snappy with my daughter, and avoided any serious discussion or dreaming with my wife. I was not able to give a 100% to my clients and colleagues. I became dull, not great fun to be around and just so tired all the time. This is not me ! I am normally highly energized, love action and have terrific endurance to face all that life throws at me. Hey, I love life !

I mentioned my busy life to my coach and he asked me what the “busy-ness” in my life did for me. I knew immediately that it added to my self-esteem through action and a deeply ingrained work ethic that ensured I place effort, where I wanted success. All of this made sense to me at the time. I have been brought up to believe in hard work leading to results.

I am creative and action oriented, manage my time extremely well, work and play hard and am very successful in my career (all of this is relative of course, as we are all different). Being multi-tasked and getting great results through constant achievement was obviously working for me. But what about the bad nights sleep and the fatigue I felt during the day ?
My fun in the journey of life was getting eroded and I knew something was wrong. But frankly, I had no idea what this was. I could not identify the “busy-ness”.

Something I picked from the next chat with my coach was that I had very little time doing nothing. Well, to be absolutely honest, I had no time at all for doing nothing. The concept of nothing did not fit into either my beliefs or my practices and sounded a bit like “laziness”.

My coach touched upon a very common phenomenon amongst “successful” people, that of “burn-out”. Those of us who have fast paced careers and personal lives will at one point of another face this. The busy world we live in and create for ourselves takes its toll on us. “Burn-out” is a very natural result of pushing ourselves too hard for too long. Reaping the eventual consequences of mental exhaustion and/or physical sickness. It’s impact can be far reaching, affecting our entire lives. Not only our current lives but also our future relationships, goals and endeavors. From being highly “successful”, burn-out can lead to failure in every aspect of our lives. Career, family, money, health, personal growth and indeed our physical environment can all become victim. A loss of balance is natural in life, it’s part of the journey and I was losing balance big time without consciously realising it. I was becoming a victim of stress and losing touch with myself.

I have two careers. I am a banker as well as a co-active coach. I love my clients and I am excited by their resourcefulness and the inspiration they give me. They are indeed innovative and complete as humans and I am passionate about their well-being, honored to be their coach and banker. Quite naturally, I spend a lot of time thinking about my work. A lot of my spare time involves thinking about my clients and the various ways in which I can add value to them. My brain is never really inactive and constantly tasks itself with a new thought pattern or process. What I had begun to realize was that my active self had taken over in every aspect of my life and I was pushing myself in everything I was doing. For someone dedicated to fun, this was doing just the opposite. I could not switch off, and my careers were taking over my complete life. My thoughts were taking away relaxation, and my constant search for achievement was ensuring I got very little rest. My mind could not relax and I had gotten into the habit of constant activity without rest or relaxation. I had chosen stress !

The lack of sleep and resultant fatigue, however, had finally set off alarm bells and I made this a priority. My coach and I have focused a great deal on the “being” or the spiritual side of who I am as a person and so I worked with him to regain the balance in thought which has been missing in my life. This has been a remarkable experience.

I was asked to explore “stillness” A concept unknown to me. For two weeks I struggled with a half hour of mental “stillness” every day. I walked on the beach, sipped a cold drink on the terrace, laid down and closed my eyes, sat on the beach and watched the sunset, went for a run.

“Stillness” had nothing to do with being still, but all to do with living in the moment, enjoying every minute of what you are doing and, not thinking about the past or the future. Honoring the moment, squeezing the juice out of that precise second in that precise minute knowing that this is it, and that the moment will never return. It is all about going into oneself and really engaging with what’s current. Reality is NOW ! It is focusing on where you are and really appreciating the sensations of the moment.

As you read this, look up and focus on the place you are at, really focus on what you can see around you. Listen to all the sounds that you can pick up, all the little background noises that you become aware of. Smell what you can . Really focus your being on enjoying where you are right now. This is “stillness”, and it is fantastic. I am an avid practitioner of “stillness” now. It clears my mind from worries, thoughts about the future, let’s me enjoy the moment and constantly brings me new perspectives on the amazing world we live in. I thank my coach Andy Denne, for this journey to “stillness”. Just in case anyone is interested, I sleep very well the days I choose to to spend time in “stillness”. I have more energy, and am much more relaxed. Everything seems to fall into place. There are still days when I forget. It is all about improving !

Do you sometimes feel so busy, that you don’t even get time to think, you run on auto pilot racing around to tick off your “to do” list, but while you tick off at the top it grows longer at the bottom ? You try to fit everything into the day but unexpected requests from friends and events that weren’t planned, throw you off. When people tell you, “just spend some time to plan your day” or “just decide what to cancel” you think “I don’t even have time for that, I don’t have time to sit down and plan and think”. I ask you only one question “Do you know what is most important to YOU” ?

Let me tell you a story.

A very famous Chinese professor from a very famous Chinese university sat in front of a group of new students. In front of him was a large glass jar, translucent and slightly green. The kind of jar people may keep plants in.

The professor looked at the students but said nothing. Then he leaned down to his right. By his foot was a pile of fist-sized rocks. He took a rock and very carefully dropped it through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar.

He turned to the group and said: “Tell me, is the jar now full?” The group murmured assent: the jar was now full.

the professor said nothing and turned to this left side. By his foot was a pile of pebbles. He took a handful of pebbles and carefully poured them through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar. Handful by handful, around the rocks, until no more pebbles could be poured through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar.

He turned to the group and said: “Tell me, is this jar now full?” The group mumbled that it certainly appeared as if the jar could possibly now be full.

The professor said nothing and turned again to his right. By his foot was a pile of coarse dry sand. He took a handful of sand and carefully poured it through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar. Around the rocks, around the pebbles, handful by handful, until no more sand could be poured through he hole at the top of the neck of the jar.

He turned to the group and said: “Tell me, is the jar now full?” There was silence.

The professor said nothing and turned again to his left side. By his foot was a jug of water. He took the jug and carefully poured the water through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar. Around the rocks, the pebbles, the sand. Until no more water could be poured through the hole at the top of the neck of the jar.

He turned to the group and said: “Tell me, is the jar now full?” There was silence, even more profound than before.

The professor turned again to his right. On a small blue square of paper he had a small pile of fine dry salt. He took a handful of salt and carefully dissolved it in the water at the top of the neck of the jar. Handful by handful in the water, around the sand, around the pebbles, around the rocks until no more salt could be dissolved in the water at the top of the neck of the jar.

Once again the professor turned to the group and said: “Tell me, is the jar now full?” One very courageous student stood up and said: “No Professor, it is not yet full.” The professor said: “Aaah! But is IS now full.”

The professor then invited all the people who were there to consider the meaning of his story. What did it mean ? How did they interpret it ? Why had the professor told it ? And after some minutes the professor listened to their reflections. There were as many interpretations as there were people in the room.

When the professor had heard from each of the students, he congratulated them, saying that it was hardly surprising there were so many different interpretations. After all, everybody there was a unique individual who had lived through unique experiences unlike those of anybody else. Their interpretations simply reflected their own lived experience and the particular and unique perspective through which they understood the world.

And in that sense no interpretation was any better, or any worse than any other. And, he wondered, were the group curious to know his own interpretation Which of course, he stated, was no better or worse than theirs. It was simply his interpretation.

Oh yes, they were curious.

“Well”, he said, ” my interpretation is simply this. Whatever you do in life, whatever the context, just make sure you get your rocks in first.” – End of Story.

Do you know what the rocks, the pebbles, the sand and the water are for you … in your life ?

Whatever they are for you, JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET Y O U R ROCKS IN FIRST ! They won’t fit afterwards.

When life is busy (when it is ever NOT busy ?) it happens all to easily that you get swallowed by the wave of day-to-day pressures or one particular part of your life such as work, while other important things get left behind. Staying in this state for too long causes stress and frustration. What you need is more balance to make you more content, more alive and to enjoy again what you are doing.
The Wheel of Life is a widely used, very simple, yet powerful coaching tool to assess your current life situation and life balance. It is an easy tool to use at home and in this article I am inviting you to use it right now. I will explain how to use it, where it’s advantages and limitations lie and give you an interpretation of your results. Enjoy !

The Wheel of Life is a visual tool which represents the different aspects of your life in eight core sections: Career, Family & Friends, Significant Other/Romance, Fun & Recreation, Health, Money, Personal Growth, Physical Environment (you could adapt it to have more). It asks you to rank your level of satisfaction with each life area and allows you to draw a visual representation of your life balance at present. This is very insightful. For many people, it is the first time, they ever look at their whole life in one go, rather than working on a specific problem e.g. career, relationship in isolation.

Why is this important ?

You might have noticed this already, each area of your life influences all others, whether we like it or not. When you are hugely satisfied with your job/career, you might see implications in money, personal growth, health…. when you are hugely dissatisfied with your partner/romance you might feel it in fun & recreation, career etc. Looking at the whole picture, gives you an indication which areas are most out of balance and allows you to reflect on how each area affects the others. Often people just get a feeling that things are not working well, the power, however, lies in becoming conscious of the whole life situation. Once you have awareness – always the first step in any change – you can take action and work on your chosen area to re-create your balance.

How exactly do I use the tool now ?

Print off the wheel of life above and have it in front of you. The eight sections in the Wheel of Life represent different aspects of your life. Seeing the centre of the wheel as 0 and the outer edges as 10, rank your level of satisfaction with each life area by drawing a straight or curved line to create a new outer edge. The new perimeter represents the wheel of your life. It this were a real wheel, how bumpy would the ride be ?

I have done my Wheel of Life – how can I read it and what can I do with it ?

First of all, look at the shape of your personal wheel.

Does it look round meaning that your life areas are balanced ?

If it does, how big or small a circle does it make ? If your circle does not extend beyond 5 o 6 around the center, ask yourself why you are playing small ? What is holding you from being fully satisfied ? If, however, your circle fills the full wheel of life, congratulations, you are living a very fulfilled life at the moment. Notice what is going so well for you and think about what needs to stay in place for this to continue. This will be a very valuable exercise, which will give you the power to pull yourself out of a low when you have one.

Does it have dents meaning that your life is not in balance ?

Which specific areas are you least satifisfied with ? Start with the area you are least satisfied with and ask yourself the following questions:
- What is important to me about becoming more satisified in this specific area in particular ?
- How important is this in my life right now ?
- What would I see, hear, feel, have if I was fully satisfied in this area ?
- What is one thing that, if I did it, would get me one step closer to satisfaction ?
- Which resources (what / who ) would I need to get me going ?
- How specifically would I know that things have improved ?