Do you belong to those who have given up setting New Year’s Resolutions because you came to the conclusion that they don’t work for you ? Then you have come to the right place.

Most NY Resolutions fail for 3 reasons:

1. Your resolution is actually a favour to someone else and YOU don’t REALLY want the result (e.g. I’ll be nicer to my nagging mother-in-law). After the first 3 weeks you are back to believing that that mother-in-law actually deserves a kick up the backside.

2. You haven’t made is strong, it’s way too vague and non-specific (e.g. I’ll exercise more and eat more healthy – that resolution is achieved after one extra apple and taking the stairs instead of the lift once, but is that what you meant ? ).  Often people set negatively phrased NY Resolutions (e.g. I’ll no more alcohol during the week). Such resolutions are so uninspiring, that you are setting yourself up for disaster.  What would you like to do instead ? Compare the previous resolution with this one: “Everytime I’ll feel like a drink during the week, I’ll make myself a yummy fruit cocktail and call my friend”.

Finally, most resolutions are phrased as “Have” or “Do” resolutions (e.g. I want to “have” more money or I will “do” more sports). The most powerful resolutions, however, have 3 parts: a “Be”, a “Do” and a “Have” part. To “have” more money, you need to commit to “doing” something more or different and “being” a different person, e.g. more courageous or more organized.

3. You aren’t prepared to work for it (e.g. I will lose 10 kg next year). If there is no real benefit to YOU of losing any weight, then why bother ? Doctor’s warnings etc are all nice and well, but you need to make it personally desirable to have a chance to succeed. Losing 10kg to prevent diseases feels rather tedious. Losing 10kg to be able to play football with your son again or to take part in those hiking excursions that sound like so much fun, is a completely different matter.

Not wanting to work for a resolution is actually a result of not really wanting the end result. I am dead certain, if you really really want something you will move the earth to get it.  So the secret is to put your goal in a way that makes it irresistibly attractive to YOU.

And then, there is commitment – deciding that you will simply do it, give it a full blown try despite your doubts and hesitations. Wrestling with your own inner voice is almost the hardest part but I will share some techniques with you below that get that inner voice to go on vacation.

So let’s dive into the

DEVELOP & GROW “New Year’s Resolutions That Work” Process (copyrighted – a proprietory process for your private use only – see below)

STEP 1: Set Your New Year’s Resolution

Whether you already thought of some resolutions or haven’t even started, your main aim now is to create some goals for the next 12 months which really get you excited. To help you with that, use the following exercise.

Journey Into The Future:

Close your eyes, breathe deeply and become conscious of your muscles. Start by concentrating on the muscles in your lower back. Every time you breathe out let the tension go and feel how your muscles become more relaxed. Move your consciousness to the muscles in your upper back and your shoulders, breathe away any tension there, then move on into your arms, hands and fingers. Travel up your neck and remove any tension here before you raise further to your jaw, face and scalp. Now do the same thing moving down and breathing away tension in your chest, stomach, pelvis, thighs and then calves and feet.

As you continue to breathe in and out, imagine yourself one year from now.

Think about what would make this coming year your best year ever ? What would not just make it good but exceptional and outstanding ?

Really think about what is truly important to YOU ! What would be a great place or situation to be in, in 12 months from now ? What would be a place or situation you would be proud to be in ?

In that place or situation: What do you notice …? What do you see around you ? Who do you see around you ?  What sort of things do these people say ? Which other sounds do you hear in that wonderful place one year from now ?

How does it feel in that space ? Really check in with yourself, what does it feel like in that beautiful place or situation 12 months from today ?

What’s the air like and the light ? What does it smell of ? Take in the whole atmosphere of you in 12 months from now and paint as colourful and vivid a picture in your mind as you can.

Once you have a detailed mental picture that feels fabulous to you, you can take a break.

Now go back to imagine that you are in this future situation or place, whatever it was that needed to change or be done to get there, has happened. Imagining that you are already 12 months into the future, you will look back at the past 12 months as from that future place they are already history. Imagine you HAVE made this year your best year ever ! WOW.  See yourself one year from now sitting in a comfy chair, satisfied and exhilarated reflecting back upon the past 12 months.

What kind of person were you in those 12 months ? How were you different than before ? How would those closest to you describe how you were in ? Listen to their words. How would other (less close) people describe you.

What changes did you make in the last 12 months ? What exactly did you do ? What did you achieve ? What was different ? What did you like best about it and what did you like least ? What did your partner say to the things you had changed or achieved in those 12 months ? Which other people made comments and which one’s ?

Now notice your breathing again, in and out. At the count of 3 you will be opening your eyes and come back feeling relaxed and refreshed but you will not talk for another 2 minutes. I am counting: 3, noticing the sounds around you, 2 stretching your arms and legs and 1, open your eyes and come back.

Take the sheet in front of you and write down the details of your journey into the future. A few questions are there to help you remember it. This is only for yourself and you will not need to share your notes with anyone.

Now take a few minutes to write down your thoughts:

JOURNEY INTO THE FUTURE

Now use the above notes to phrase an inspiring goal or resolution for the next 12 months. Be bold. For now, don’t worry about how you will achieve it, just make sure you are truly excited about it.

My New Years Resolution

This year I truly want to:________________________________________________

STEP 2: Boost Your New Year’s Resolutions Strength

Have a look at the statement you’ve just written and use the following strength boosters:

* Is the resolution mine ? Is it something that I truly want not something I should be wanting (or my my husband/wife/partner, my kids, my parents etc want) ? If necessary, rephrase it to something that YOU truly want and care about. Do it right now.

* Is it phrased in the positive (e.g. I will eat healthy food rather than I won’t eat chocolate anymore)  ? If not, turn it into a positive NOW.

*Does it make you enthusiastic and inspire you ? If not, rework it.

* Does it fit into your life and is it realistic, i.e. do you believe that you can do it ? Being able to fly without technical help wouldn’t be realistic. Change it to make it realistic (while keeping it exciting).

* Is is measurable ? Ask yourself how you would know that you have achieved your resolution ? What would be a tangible sign that you are there ? Make sure you include this in your resolution.

STEP 3: Complete Your New Year’s Resolution

Every goal and every resolution has 3 parts, a “Be”, a “Do” and a “Have” part. Usually we phrase our resolutions as either a “Be”, a “Do” or a “Have” resolution, e.g. “I want to have 5 more regular clients (“have”) or “I want to go to gym twice a week( “do”) ” or “I want to be a great friend who takes time and listens(“be”)”.

To succeed with your New Years Resolution you need to be aware of all 3 parts.  So go ahead and determine whether your resolution above is a “Be”, a “Do” or a “Have” resolution. Then write your resolution into the respective column. Now you are ready to find its two partners in the remaining column.

BE-DO-HAVE Table

STEP 3: Commit To Your New Year’s Resolution

Specifically commit to the “Be” (I am a sporty person) and “Do” (I exercise at least 3 times a week) parts of your resolution and the “Have” part (I will have a great body) will come automatically.

Now think about your resolution one last time and say YES to it in your mind. Write it into the YES column below. If you say wholeheartedly YES to your resolution, what will you have to NO to in order to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to achieve. Write the answers into the YES/NO table.

YES-NO Table

If you have trouble here are a few questions to help you:

So what’s at stake if you are who you want to be ? What it is at stake if you don’t ?

What’s at stake if you do what you want to do ? What happens if you don’t ?

Everything in your “NO” column is making space for your new resolution to come to life.

Find a partner and discuss your YES/NO table to complete it. What could throw you off track ? What else do you have to say yes/no to to reach your destination ?

Look over your yes/no table. This is your plan  ! How alive is the plan on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being thrillingly alive and 1 a dead fish.

If it is 8-10, discuss with your partner how you will celebrate.

If it is not 8-10. Think about why not ? What would have to change ?

STEP 4: Your Final New Year’s Resolution Statement

Writing your New Year’s Resolution down is a key ingredient for staying committed. If it’s not written down, we tend to change the wording in line with our action/non-action. “I will go to the gym 3 times a week” changes into “I will go to the gym at least once a week” etc.

So fill in the commitment statement below, date and sign it. Then write a second copy and put it in an envelope. Mark your address on it and give it to a friend to mail it to you in 6 weeks. Alternatively put the closed envelope in your calendar and only open it in 6 weeks.

I _____________ fully commit to saying YES to _____________________

and saying NO to _____________________________________________

My immediate action is _____________________________________. And I will do this by ___________________ .

I will make it happen !

_____________________

Signature and Date

Congratulations ! You have now made a commitment to yourself. Here are some further tips on how to keep it:

-         make an even more detailed plan (stay flexible as you go)

-         talk about it/ enroll others

-         hold yourself accountable by setting milestones and checking them

-         set up a system of reminders (e.g. wear your watch on the other hand)

-         hang up your resolution where you can see it regularly

-         acknowledge success and reward yourself / celebrate

-         find a partner and ask to hold each other accountable (set a date to check in on each other). Alternatively engage a good coach.

Good luck ! And a very happy next 12 months !

The Develop & Grow “New Year’s Resolutions That Work” Process is proprietory to www.developandgrow.com. You can use it privately. Any commercial use requires prior written consent by the owner of www.developandgrow.com.

My frustration with one particular run with my faster running husband that week kicked off a whole lot of philosophic thoughts about why people physically push themselves in the first place … I felt I had nothing to prove to myself on that front, so why do it ? To find an answer to that question I wondered what those accomplished runner friends of mine are motivated by. Self worth leapt to my mind. But enjoyment ?

Clearly, I had made up a limiting belief that you cannot train for marathon and enjoy the process.

That week I wrote a letter of resignation to my running coach. Luckily for me, he asked me to come to the training anyway and I did.

He explained to me that he did not expect me to push myself so hard as to stop enjoying my running – quite the opposite. He encouraged me to run exactly the way I enjoy it and take longer – so what. The simplicity of his argumentation was powerful to me. I was left with little to say and an anticipation for my next leisurely training run.

Amazing how we sometimes make up rules about things like my “when you train for a running event like a half marathon, you no longer can enjoy your runs”.

I have meanwhile run many times and enjoyed lots of them. In fact, I now set my goals such that they are just the right little stretches for my level of ability (not my husband’s or anyone else’s !), and I feel so proud when I manage to run 5 minutes longer than last time.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” (attributed to Lao Tzu – founder of Taoism)

You have probably heard the saying before. Did you ever notice how powerful it is ?

I have met so many people and clients who feel disappointed for not starting or progressing their big projects and dreams. They often don’t know where to start and in view of the mountain of tasks ahead, they feel like giving up before they’ve really started. In this respect, we are all the same.

And yet, sometimes people achieve BIG things and you wonder how they do it, where they take the energy, time and stamina from. The answer is often so simple and even better: it is available to all of us not just a selected few. The answer is to take one little baby step at a time – and enjoy the process !

For this to work, you need to manage your expectations. Give yourself permission to take a couple of years to work on your BIG project. So what if it doesn’t happen next year. If you don’t even start it, it will never happen at all.

Then, break it down into pieces. What would you want to have achieved by the end of the first year ? If this still feels daunting, extend the total period further until your first year goal feels doable. Break your tasks down further to a monthly level/ ideally weekly.

Now think about what would be the very first baby step in the direction of your goal ? A phone call ? Surfing the net ? A few notes ?

Just focus on your first step and when that one is done, focus on the next one but only that one, don’t look ahead and get disheartened. The winners are the ones who just keep going: step by step. And they enjoy each step because their big goal is in line with something they are passionate about, so their little steps feel exciting, too – most of the time. The other times they just display perseverance in the sure knowledge that it will lead to the goal.

As Sir Edmund Hillary was saying. Ultimately, “It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”

]]> http://www.developandgrow.com/lifecoach/blog/even-the-longest-journey-begins-with-a-single-step/feed/ 0 http://www.developandgrow.com/lifecoach/blog/goals-are-not-enough/ http://www.developandgrow.com/lifecoach/blog/goals-are-not-enough/#comments Fri, 28 Nov 2008 13:46:48 +0000 Silke http://www.developandgrow.com/lifecoach/?p=108 Today I read an article by John Carlton titled “What Makes an Entrepreneur?” and I found it had a lot of great truths about what it takes to achieve your aims, how setting exciting goals is a great first step, but it is also only that: a great first step. Afterwards you MUST create movement, any movement getting you a little bit closer to your goal. And maybe even more importantly he recommends you look at “what will happen if you actually reach your goal, what then ?”. Thinking about this will take away the biggest fear of all. Believe it or not, the biggest fear of all is the fear of success !

Here is his article. Enjoy.

“A few weeks back, I visited my hometown to see my family. Dad still lives in the same house he bought just after WWII, and it’s hard for me not to feel like I’m 15 again when I’m there.

Not that I feel all young and vibrant. Naw. More like I get back in touch with how freakin’ clueless I was for the first half of my life.

It was a great childhood, a gruesome adolescence, and even now ghosts from my past haunt every corner of the neighborhood.

Always interesting/spooky/insightful to go back to old stomping grounds. I love my family. And I’m still chewing over how that town shaped who I am today. In fact, it got me pondering long and hard about what “makes” an entrepreneur.

A lot of people – including me – talk about the value of goals in launching any entrepreneurial venture. Figuring out what you truly want… setting a plan in motion to attain it… and following through.

There is, however, a difference between “understanding” goal-setting behavior… and actually DOING it.

So here is what I propose you do this coming weekend: Give yourself a brutal reality check.

Are you spending enough time figuring out what you really want to do when you grow up?

This is not a trick question. Most rookie goal-setters need to refine their skills at this over a frustrating period of time.

The first goals you set are likely to be things you actually don’t want, after all. There is an art to looking deep into your own heart and soul and coming to grips with what REALLY rocks your boat… and what will continue to make nice waves in your future.

It’s never enough to want to be “rich.” You must spend time thinking about what “rich” means to you. Not to your buddies or your colleagues or anyone else. You.

And if you decide you want to be filthy rich… well, you’ve got to do more than just set that as a goal. Ya gotta work out your plan to get there. With lots of little goals along the path.

If you’ve yet to make dime one online, for example, then a goal of becoming a billionaire online isn’t a goal… it’s a dream. You’ve got to earn your first buck. Then your second. And go on from there.

Your first goal may be to weed through all the info available out there… find the resources you feel you can trust… and dig in.

Those subsequent “dig in” steps – the actual goal-by-goal stepladder that will take you toward your desired destination – cannot be glossed over.

And there are consequences to consider. You may not yet know what awaits you as a cash-generating genius. But you sure can examine how your life starts to change as you go.

Every detail of your life can morph in strange ways when the money starts coming in. Your friends and family may wrestle (often unsuccessfully) with your rise in status, liquidity, and self-confidence.

It won’t always be pretty. But the more you “arm” yourself with insights like these, the less surprised you’ll be when you hit each milestone in your quest for a better life.

You’ll be… uh, what’s the word?… prepared.

Goals are great. But I’ve known too many people who ONLY set goals. They never go after them.

Movement is key. And you’ll feel better about moving toward your goals if you spend some serious time thinking about them.

Play with them. Mold them. Constantly put them through your “What if?” grinder. (What if you can’t do it with your first idea? Will you try again? Try something else? What?)

The “secret ingredient” of great goal setting is to cogitate obsessively on the consequences of actually meeting each goal once you set it. This not only helps you blow through failure… it also creates a “vision” of yourself that keeps your motivation hot.

This requires “forward thinking”… which doesn’t come with the default equipment you’re born with. Ya gotta exercise it.

Without goals, you’re just being taken for a ride by Fate.

Goals do not guarantee anything… except, once you take steps to attain them, you will move SOMEWHERE new in life. And you’ll be doing as much of the driving as possible.

Fate will still screw with you. But you’ll no longer be helpless.

At first, even five minutes of focused “forward thinking” will make you sweat and want to go do something else.

Get over it. Stick with it. Soon, you’ll be an ace at peering into the fog down the line, and you’ll be able to exert more control over events than you ever dreamed possible in your pre-goal-setting days.

This weekend, get your five minutes in. Move through the sweat and avoidance.
Jumpstart something new.

This article is about putting you back in the driver’s seat and helping you find the courage to set goals SUCH that you are garantueed to achieve them. Following the below Questions to Achievable Outcomes or goals (drawn from NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming) will be a sure way to state your goals such that you can achieve them easily. As a result, you will feel good about yourself, your self esteem will raise. No more disappointements.

Believe it or not, your ability to achieve a goal depends more on the way you state your goal then on the content of your goal ! Yes ! Read this again. The power lies in the way you set your goals. So here is the process for Goal Setting for Success:

1. What is your goal, aim or objective ?
Write down whatever it is you want or desire. For now, this will look pretty much like the previous goals you may have set in the past.

2. What specifically do you want (rather than what you don’t want !) ?
State your goal in the positive ! “I want to have a size 10″ rather than “I want to stop eating chocolate”. This is absolutely critical ! Our brain cannot process the negation, with a goal stated in the negative you essentially focus your attention on more of the negative.

Now think about how you can make your statement more specific. Rather than “I want to make more or a lot of money” specify exactly what you want, e.g. “I want to earn x000 per month after tax by day xy”. Don’t forget to think about the when: by when would you like to achieve it ?

Make sure your goal is achievable in principal by you. “Becoming a CEO is achievable in principal – even if you are at the bottom of the hierarchy”, “Flying through the air like a bird” is NOT achievable.

Don’t get afraid about being specific ! Many people like to keep their goals vague in order to keep some room for interpretation when it comes to judgement day. Trust me, keeping your goal vague is worse than not having one at all.

3. Where are you now in relation to the outcome ?
Think about your goal achievement like a journey. What is your departure point ? What is it like there ?

4. Imagine the Outcome: what will you see, hear, feel etc. when you have achieved your goal ?
Close your eyes and paint a picture in your mind about what it will be like when you have achieved your goal. What will you see ? Who will you see around you ? Where are you ? What do you see in these people’s faces ? What do you hear ? What is being said ? What smells do you notice ? Any tastes that matter when you have achieved your goal ? How do you feel inside ? What do you feel around you (on your face, body etc) ?
Once you have a full picture with all your senses, imagine it was a picture or movie on television. Play around with its brightness, its colours, the size of the picture/movie, the volume to make it as inspiring and exciting as possible. Make a mental note of this picture/movie. You could also draw a picture or make a collage of it. Other people prefer to write down everything they saw in their mental image.

5. Evidence: How will you know when you have achieved your goal/outcome ?
Think about what signals or signs would tell you that you have actually achieved your outcome. What would be evidence or proof ? You really want to come up with something that is clearly there or not there at the specified time.

6. Congruence: What will this goal get for you or allow you to do ?
Have a think about what makes your goal important for you. What is it exactly, that you get out of achieving your goal ? And what is important about that ? Is that worth it ? If your answer to the last question is yes, you have a congruent goal.

7. Is this goal something that benefits YOU ?
You should set goals that benefit you in some meaningful way (even if your goal is to improve your husband’s work life, or your children’s social life – there has to be something SIGNIFICANT in it for you, otherwise you won’t achieve it). What is the significant, meaningful benefit you get ?

8. What resources do you need and which resources do you have already ?
Think about what resources you will need to achieve your outcome. Just make a list. Then think about which one’s you already have. Have you ever had or done this before ? Do you know anyone who has ? Can you act as if you’ve already achieved this ?

9. Ecological goal: What will gain and what will you lose if you achieve your goal ?
Here you want to look at the impact of your goal achievement on your others around you and the community or even the planet as a whole. How does it affect your partner, your family, your community, your country etc ? If it has a positive impact you are more likely to achieve it.

Finally ask yourself the following questions (the last one requires a bit of brain twisting but it works :
- What will happen when I get it ?
- What won’t happen when I get it ?
- What will happen if I don’t get it ?
- What won’t happen if I don’t get it ?

10. Now act “as if” it is a done deal that you will achieve your goal (you have already painted the picture of what that will look and feel like). You have seen it in your mind, you will go there with your body !

Don’t get put off by the work of going through these 10 steps. They will save you loads of work and negative emotions later. Spending time on those 10 steps will be an investment you won’t regret.
This process has worked for many people before (including myself and my numerous clients), so why would you NOT choose to re-apply what they learned and use the process for your own “Goal Setting for Success” ?

Setting goals will become fun ! Enjoy achieving your goals !!!

Thankfully, setting your own personal goals for success is nowhere as difficult as finding a random house in the city. Rather it is more like having a vast city of opportunities and possibilities spread out before you. It’s only up to you to pick the house that suits you. Setting goals gives you a destination and a direction to travel. Sure you could wander aimlessly and not pay attention to anything around you. The only trouble with that strategy is that you never see anything and you never get anywhere.

This is why you need to set your own personal goals for what you consider success. Only you can define this success and no one else. Various people have different ways they like to tackle the process of goal setting, and it is useful to understand how different people do it so that you might find the method that suits your particular temperament.

If you’re a very straight-forward, no nonsense kind of person who likes to keep things simple, that’s exactly what you should do with your personal goal setting process: keep it simple and direct. That might be right for you, but some have very well thought out strategies that take into consideration both long term and short term goals, and the actions that need to be taken over the long haul and on a daily basis to get closer to your goal and achieve your personal destination. The thing is that each of us respond to different stimuli and different mediums of influence. There are many who are very visually oriented and respond best to things they can see for themselves. This is the reason people use techniques such as vision boards to strengthen their goals and their process of personal planning. On the other hand if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t go anywhere without your pocket diary or organizer, and if you revel in its tables and forms to keep you sane, you might need a more structured toolkit to set your goals for success.

Whatever the method to your madness, a method you must have and stick to, because without it it is too easy to get lost in the bustle of life. To get places and see the things you want to see on your journey, you need to know what you are looking for. Then things become a little easier. Even if you lose your path, at least the destination is clear and a new path can be found again. On this kind of journey, each new step on each new path carries you closer to what you seek, and the road educates you and makes you wiser as you make progress. But only if you know what you are looking for and you keep your senses sharp and tuned along the way.

This post was guest blogged by Samir Bharadwaj. He is a freelance writer and design generalist who blogs about his ideas, and ideas in general at Samir Bharadwaj dot Com.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we call this “perception is projection”. NLP has proven that we all see the world differently, no two people have the same view of the world, so everybody’s reality is different even the reality of the exact same thing.

Why is that ? Because we are bombarded with more than 2 Million bits of information every second and each of us take only a fraction of that (plus or minus 7 bits) into our conscious mind. How do we do that ? We filter the information. Have you have ever been to a party with a friend and found that you loved the experience while your friend had a miserable time ? You have both been to the same party ! Or have you moved to a new town or city and found it difficult to settle, while another person moved to the same place at the same time and found it all easy ?

Why is this so ? Because we have different filters, so we take in different parts of the experience and we focus on different things. If you look for the negative in everything even in the good things, you can find it (you might remember those people who always point out the one bad thing in the great stuff that just happened). The opposite is also true. Look for the good in every challenge or indeed disaster that is happening in your life. You will find it too ! This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Let me share with you an experiment which was done in the classroom to find out why the best pupils always stayed at the top and worst always stayed at the bottom. Why did the weaker one’s not catch up ? The teacher’s perception of these students (a self-fulfilling prophecy) had a lot to do with it. Two classes were handed over to two separate new teachers (A and B) who had no prior experience with the pupils. Both were briefed on previous performance and ranking of their new pupils, but teacher B was told that 3 students (who were all weaker students) had recently shown exceptional results in a test to measure academic potential. None of this was true. Sure enough, though, those 3 students improved phenomenally during the next school year, while the ranking in class A stayed the same. How was that possible ? Every time the 3 students in class B gave the wrong answer or did not perform as expected, the teacher actively explained it as being an exception to the rule or them having a bad day, because this information did not fit what he believed about the students. If the other weaker students did not perform, he classified it as expected and typical behaviour. Additionally he also reacted very differently to the 3 “special” students. Showed more patience and motivated them more through verbal and non-verbal messages. Such is the power of projection, the power of getting what you believe or focus on.

This is powerful stuff because YOU can choose what you are looking for ! You choose the filter ! You can choose to look for the flaws, the negative or you can choose to look for the good or the learning in everything. I am not sure what you are going for, but I am going for the learning and the positive.

The Law of Attraction has been working for you already, although you might not have been aware of it. Hence it is not a new phenomenon in your life. However, you might not have consciously used it to your advantage yet. In fact, it might have worked against you so far….
Do you often have negative thoughts and negative feelings ? Do you think about the things you DON’T want ? By thinking about them, and feeling angry, annoyed and depressed, you are attracting more of that into your life. Very likely, this is making you more annoyed and depressed which in turn brings you more of it. Nasty cycle, heh ! Break out of it and focus on what you do want. Here is how the process works (and it is really simple !):

1. Be grateful for what you already have.
Focus your mind on all the great things you already have and own. On all the great people in your life. Start a list, you will be surprised, how much will be on it. This will put you in the right frame of mind.

2. Think about what you do want.
Create a picture in your mind about what you want, visualization is a powerful tool to hold the thought. Then make the vision as real as possible, see yourself in it, see yourself smile, enjoy it. Notice everything around you, the environment, the things, the people. Notice the feelings you have when you have achieved what you want. Indulge in it. Really ! Indulge and enjoy it to the full. You will feel fabulous.
To make this even stronger, create a collage of magazine pictures and drawings which reflect your dream, the feelings and ideas. This is called a dream board. So, go on make a collage with different pictures reflecting the material things and feelings you want to have. Cut out pictures from magazines, print them off the internet or use anything else which makes good material for your board. If you can write your thought down, do that. Be specific about what, when, where.

3. Keep thinking the thought regularly.
Set a time every day for you to get in touch with that thought. A great way is to look at your dream board, which you should hang up in a prominent place in your house. Don’t put it in a dark hallway ! Put it somewhere where you see it everyday. And if you have it written down, read it every day.

4. Look out for signs.
Don’t think there is anything mysterious or magical about this. If you CHOOSE to filter the information in your life, such that you want to catch the things that help you achieve your vision, then you will. So become more AWARE. Look out for anything that might help you. Ask yourself after every meeting with friends or business contacts. How is what I have heard helping me with my vision ? Don’t worry if you can’t find the answer immediately. Simply by fine-tuning your receptors to pick up what you need, you will be ready for the opportunities when they arise. If you choose not to pay attention, however, you won’t hear the bell when opportunity rings!
Let me ask you this the other way round. If you are not sure what you are looking for, because you have not defined what you want. How are you going to recognize the opportunity when it comes ? It will simply pass you by.

5. Act on the opportunities when they present themselves.
Finally, grab the information you get, the opportunities you see and follow up on them. There is huge power in action and with every action you take – even the ones you choose to classify as unsuccessful – you will learn something new and perhaps meet someone else who will help you. Your self-esteem will grow, because you have tried ! You will be proud for having tried. Self-esteem comes after action, not before. If you choose not to act, you choose not to have what you want, or to stay where you are.

6. Trust the process and trust yourself.
Believe that you will be successful. If an action does not immediately give you a result, it is only a failure if you give up at that point. If you learn from it and try something different, you will eventually succeed (Edison failed close to 10,000 times and asked how he could cope with so much failure, answered that he had not failed, that instead he had learned almost 10,000 ways not to create a light bulb and had invented a few other things as side products along the way.)
As you keep believing, the Law of Attraction will help you with your endevour. Be aware, though, if you only want to test the concept or if you doubt the process, you might not be able to generate the strong positive feelings described above. Instead your feelings will be full of resistance and doubt.
What do you have to lose anyway ? In the very worst case you will be as well off as you are now. And it costs nothing other than your commitment to the Law of Attraction to take part. Worth a try, isn’t it ?

So is this the same as positive thinking ?
Not really. First of all, the Law of Attraction works for negative thoughts in the same way. What you think will be attracted to you. Secondly, and most importantly, positive thinking alone is not enough to attract the Success or Money you want. You need to think clearly and precisely about what you want AND feel the feelings you would have once you achieved it. It is the feelings which matter. They are also your barometer for how well you are on track.

How can I make myself feel something ? Aren’t feelings the result of events out of my control ?
You might not have been aware of it yet, but you are always in control of your feelings. This is one of the most difficult concepts to grasp and one that is beyond the topic of this article. However, here is a simple proof. Right now, think of the worst moment in your life, can you see what you saw at the time, hear what you heard and feel what you felt ? Now, think of one of the best moments in your life, really think yourself back into that moment, notice how your facials muscles relax, notice what you saw at the time, what people said and how it felt to be there.
If you really went through this exercise, you will have felt two completely different feelings within a matter of seconds. How was that possible ? Well, you created it. You chose to have those feelings because you chose to think about those events from your past. Remembering past events is just one way of influencing your current emotions. Choosing how to look at those past events is another. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you can choose to take it personally and get really angry, start shouting etc. or you can choose to believe that this person is in a terrible hurry, maybe had some bad news etc and shake your head and keep smiling. Your feelings depend on the meaning you give the event, not the event itself.

Common Mistakes & Watch-Outs

1. Be specific in what YOU want. Don’t just ask for money. You might find a penny on the street. Ask exactly for what you want, when you want it. And make sure what you want is about YOU.
2. State your goal in positive terms. Think about what you do want, not about what you don’t want or you will get more of THAT ! “I want to get rid of my debt” gets you more debt, because it is debt you are thinking of.
3. Feel about what you want as if you already have it now. When you visualize your wants and dreams, feel into what you would feel if you had it already (just do “as if”). If you only intensify the desire to have it in the future, your dreams will stay in the future (“I am enjoying my house on the beach” rather than “I wish I had a house on the beach”)
3. Suspend your dis-belief. Choose to believe. What do you have to lose ? Worst case, you are back to were you are right now. Sounds like a bargain to me !

TRY IT OUT ! Many people throughout history from Winston Churchill to Henry Ford have used the LAW OF ATTRACTION to their advantage.

If you would like to work on this with a coach, contact Callum or Silke on coaching@developandgrow.com for a free coaching sample session. You can also use the contact form by clicking here.