People talk about dream holidays and travel companies offer all types of dream holidays. All types ?

If you ask 50 different people about what their dream holiday would be like, you need to be ready for 50 different answers. Indeed, everyone is different and so are our unspoken expectations of a dream holiday.

What we know about a dream holiday is that it is a holiday where everything is just great or even perfect – but only for YOU. What a dream holiday is to one, can be a nightmare to another or totally uninspiring at best.

In order to find or create a true dream holiday for yourself, you need to know yourself. Specifically, you need to be aware of what matters most to you on a holiday. It’s not about planning the execution, it’s about finding your personal strategy.

You could try two different techniques:

Ask yourself “If I could have ANY (absolutely any) holiday I wanted,  what would I choose ?” Now either paint a perfect picture in your mind imaging every detail of the perfect holiday for you; alternatively write down bullet points of things that are truly important on a dream holiday for you. It doesn’t matter whether your list or picture is very concrete e.g. a lonely jungle hut in the rain forest or more general e.g. calmness, no time pressure, no timetable, nature, hot, sunshine, etc.

Once you have a clear picture or a list of at least 20 points ask yourself

“What about this picture / each of the 20 points is important to me ?” Try to figure out what about each part of your picture or list it is that matters so much to you. Which new insights can you gather ?

Which other ways (other than your picture/20 points) can you see that would le you have what matters to you so much ?

Now ask: “What would it be like if I got it (the picture/ the 20 points) ?” “What would that give me ?”

Finally ask yourself on a scale from 0-10 how much of a dream holiday your picture or list would be (0= my nightmare holiday, 10 = my total dream holiday)

If you score a 8-10, you have the perfect blueprint or 20 criteria for choosing or creating a holiday which will truly become a dream experience for you. If you score any less than that, ask yourself “What’s missing  ?” and then add that to your picture or list.

Rather than getting seduced by other people’s definitions of dream holidays (including the travel agents) you can now create or look out for one that fits your needs and dreams exactly. A holiday created in this way is garantueed to make you feel fabulous.

Whatever the reason, this impulse for change comes along at certain intervals in our life. However, we all know the impulse rarely lasts. Last week I had an impulse to exercise… (again). However, it’s not particularly consistent, and doesn’t always come at times when it’s convenient for me to exercise.
You may have thought: “You know – my relationship really could be better. Surely this isn’t as good as it gets?” And the next day the impulse is gone. Or “What would it take to double my profits? I’m really going to make some changes in this business when I get less busy”. A few days later your focus is on something else.

Or… are you the kind of person who takes on new projects with gusto, to find out that a few weeks or months later it feels old hat, and you follow a familiar pattern of switching to something else?

So, IMPULSES FOR CHANGE DO NOT USUALLY LAST. This is why we human beings do not make many of the changes that are possible in our lives.

Without Coaching – without a STRUCTURE – our natural tendency is to keep our patterns. Go to work. Make money. Keep the same relationships. Keep the same barriers. Want the same things to change. – but don’t change them. Feel an impulse for change – lose the impulse for change. Staying the same is the natural outcome. But Do We Need to Change?

No. But wouldn’t it be wise? These impulses for change are the signals telling you what is next for you in life. They are your intuition letting you know that you are missing opportunities. They are messages (sometimes subtle) about what you would ~really~ like to do in your life, what your business needs, the perfect job, who you should be with right now.

If I may get a little deep for just a moment – they are not only the signals that will help us achieve the goals we are striving for, but the signals that are telling us how to evolve as people. If we ignore these impulses, we’ll feel restless at a very deep level – knowing something is wrong, but not sure what. Not understanding this restlessness, we must seek ways of quieting it – TV, movies, alchohol, smoking, over-reading etc.

OK – I’m getting a little off track but I think you get my point. It’s important that these impulses do not get left by the way side. You want the secret to achieving your goals and having an amazing life? FIND A WAY TO HARNESS THESE IMPULSES

The Coaching Structure

At it’s simplest, coaching may be described as a structure. Coaching harnesses the energy for change; those impulses that last from a moment to a few weeks. If you feel an impulse to exercise more, you may exercise somewhat – until the next impulse. But if you join a gym for a year and hire a personal trainer, you will be fit! In fact it would be very hard to avoid it, having set up this structure.

Coaching is a similar structure, for any goal that’s important to you. You make a commitment to your goals, and to working for a certain time frame with a coach. This is often 3 months or 6 months, usually with one or more review points to assess progress. Normally, once a week by phone, you have a conversation with your coach, and you commit to specific actions to move you forward. Within a coaching structure, your natural tendency is to pursue your goals and achieve them. It’s hard, in fact very hard to keep your limiting patterns and your life the same when you focus so much consistent attention on what you really want, and make promises to a third party.

With a coach, the person who feels an impulse to change careers isn’t still thinking about it in three months time. He’s hired a coach, he’s found a new career possibility which inspires him, he’s got a new resume and ten interviews lined up.

With a coach, the woman who wants to organize her business so that she has time for herself isn’t still complaining about it in six months time. She’s hired a coach, created an empowering time allocation, set her boundaries, hired an assistant, looks obviously happier and is therefore attracting more clients.

So here’s the key:

Without a coach, the path of least resistance is to keep your life the same. Impulses for change often do not last long enough to act upon.

With a coach, the path of least resistance is to achieve your goals! Impulses for change are converted to momentum.

Summary

So would coaching be a smart investment for you right now? Are you the kind of person who could benefit?

You decide. I say it’s for people who recognize that coaching is a powerful structure for harnessing your energy for change, and to help you move forward. If you’re content for the next five years to be similar to the last five years, then you don’t need any input or help from anyone. However, aren’t you curious to know what your life could be like in five years time if you harnessed your impulses for change, carried them through, and had fun while doing it?

David Wood, Copyright 2002-2004 SolutionBox

An Invitation to You…

If something in the above article appealed to you, then I invite you to contact us to take this to the next level. E-mail: coaching@developandgrow.com for a free sample session.

That is a good thing of course, and it just goes to show how much of an interest there is in the subject. I guess at some level it is a very human condition to strive for betterment or at least imagine a betterment in our state, both spiritual and practical. In fact, if anything I often wish more people would suffer from this particular condition, as it would lead to less suffering for all parties on the planet in general.

Until that comes to pass, here are a list of interesting venues with interesting carnivals hosted by interesting people, all of who were kind enough to include articles from this blog in their carnival proceedings.

• Amit Sodha over at The Power of Choice included How to achieve more by BEING rather than DOING in the July 15 edition of The Personal Development Carnival.
• Suzie Cheel of Abundance Highway linked to Use the Law of Attraction and get Success, Money… in the first edition of the Abundance Thinking Blog Carnival.
• Josh Bickford over at Reach For Magnificence linked to What is most important to YOU? in the July 16 edition of the Reach For Magnificence Personal Development Carnival.
• Kara-Leah Masina of be Conscious now included How to achieve more by BEING rather than DOING in the Carnival of Truth #4.
• Karen Lynch over at Live the Power included How far away are you from living your life purpose? in the Live the Power Unlimited volume 2.
• Pinkblocks linked to Personal Goal Setting And Planning For Success in the July 21 2007 edition of Blog Carnival on Personal Power.
• Victor-Fam.com included Personal Goal Setting And Planning For Success in the July 22 2007 edition of Towards Better Life Carnival.
• Anna farmery of Widows Quest included How Balanced is my Life? in the July 22 edition of the Carnival of Positive Thinking.
• Tristan Loo over at Synergy Institute linked to How far away are you from living your life purpose? in the Personal Development and Life Success Blog Carnival #10.
• FitBuff.com included How far away are you from living your life purpose? in Total Mind and Body Fitness Carnival #7.
• Billy Smith over at The Organic Leadership Blog included Envy and how to deal with it in the 11th edition of the Carnival of Leadership Growth.
• Josh Bickford of Reach For Magnificence linked to How far away are you from living your life purpose? in the July 24 edition of the Reach For Magnificence Personal Development Carnival.
• PersonalDevelopmentCarnival.Com included How Stillness can save you from Burn-Out! in the July 22 edition of The Personal Development Carnival.
• Anne Maybus over at The Tall Poppy linked to How to achieve more by BEING rather than DOING in the July 30 edition of Living A Real Life carnival
• Susan Velez of The Secret To Life included How far away are you from living your life purpose? in the Secret To Getting What You Desire Carnival #3.

A big thank you to all involved, and if you are interested in personal development or life coaching in any way, you would be hard-pressed to find an area of discussion that is not covered by one of the hundreds of excellent pieces of writing linked at these various carnivals. Happy reading!

This post was guest blogged by Samir Bharadwaj. He is a freelance writer and design generalist who blogs about his ideas, and ideas in general at Samir Bharadwaj dot Com.

• Anna farmery over at Widows Quest included Use the Law of Attraction and get Success, Money… in the July 8 edition of the Carnival of Positive Thinking.
• Anja Merret linked to Reciprocity – What we do in Life always comes back to us in the Blog Carnival of Observations on Life – July 8, 2007 over at her blog.
• The Expatriate Chef recognised How to achieve more by BEING rather than DOING in the July 9 edition of the Carnival of Family Life.
• FitBuff.com included How Balanced is My Life? in Total Mind and Body Fitness Carnival #5.
• Joe Caterisano over at Self Help Advice linked to How far away are you from living your life purpose? in the July 9, 2007 edition of Self Help Advice blog carnival.
• Susan Velez of The Secret To Life included Use the Law of Attraction and get Success, Money… in the Secret To Getting What You Desire Carnival #2.
• Anne Maybus over at The Tall Poppy linked to How to be courageous in the July 15 edition of Living A Real Life carnival
• Susan Palwick at Rickety Contrivances of Doing Good included Reciprocity – What we do in Life always comes back to us at the Carnival of Hope: Volume 1, Number 11.

Thanks to all the blog carnival organisers for their great support and efforts in putting together these listings, and to the ‘attendees’ for their worthy company.

This post was guest blogged by Samir Bharadwaj. He is a freelance writer and design generalist who blogs about his ideas, and ideas in general at Samir Bharadwaj dot Com.

How to escape the rat race ? More and more people are getting a life coach to help them break the mold. And they report astonishing results in relatively short periods of time.

Clients report the following outcomes:

- facing and overcoming their fears
- finding the passion and excitement again
- realizing new found potential
- getting a big boost in self-confidence
- working better with others
- exceeding their personal and career goals
- seeing their lives in a new positive light
- feeling free

Coaching is now one of the fastest growing mantras to take over the self development space. Life Coaching in particular is spreading like a wildfire of personal growth across the globe and is also rumored to be one of the fastest growing careers in the world.

So what exactly is it ?
The International Coach Federation (ICF) http://www.coachfederation.org defines coaching as:
“an ongoing partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life”

Coaching is about improving a clients whole life. Coaches come from a variety of backgrounds, with a common belief that their clients have the innate potential to achieve greatness and that the coach is the enabling catalyst. Coaches dedicate themselves to helping their clients achieve what they want in their lives.

The centerpiece of coaching is the aforementioned belief that every client is creative, resourceful and whole. It is taken that as human being’s we are complete and the coaches role is to help further develop our completeness, enabling us to live our best lives in the present and going forwards.To work on our lives rather than being merely in them.

Coaching has its roots in sports coaching, where an athlete is supported in achieving their maximum performance through a powerful partnership with their coach. Coaching is therefore not a repair kit for purportedly broken individuals. It differs from the schools of counseling and consultancy in allowing the client to find the solution themselves through powerful questions and thought provoking exercises, rather than providing these. Psychotherapy addresses major emotional issues and tries to help clients find context and understanding, based on the past. Coaching on the other hand will take business and personal issues and explore them in a framework that is action-oriented for the present and the future, not focusing on the past. The coach wants to help their client achieve a great future.

The relationship between client and coach is anchored on trust and confidentiality. Coaches use a variety of tools including visualizations, simulations and differing perspectives to make the client leave the comfort zone and experience being and doing what they really want. The coach is there to push, cajole, support, be with and most importantly listen. A partner devoted 100% to success.

I am often asked “why a coach, when I have friends or family to help me do this?” They can help but in different ways. Friends and family lack the objectivity that a coach can provide and often offer quick advice rather than powerful questions. A coach would help the client to come to a solution themselves. Ultimately, clients success or growth in a new direction can be threatening to someone whose relationship depends on their basically staying the way they are. The coach is there to help the client with the clients own agenda, irrespective.

Life Coaches, Business Coaches, Executive Coaches (irrespective of title) all aim to help create a better life for their clients. Clients come to coaching for a large variety of reasons including and by no means limited to:

- achieving a better work life balance
- career growth or change
- lack of energy and motivation
- being stuck
- breaking habits
- plans and ideas and how to take them forward
- performing more effectively at work
- fulfilling a dream

How to find a life coach in Dubai ?
Coaching is a relatively new addition to the beautiful, vibrant, busy and indeed increasingly stressful city of Dubai. There is a growing demand for coaching and as the profession is fairly young having only evolved over the past 10 years or so choosing a coach is not easy. A few basic guidelines to find the right coach could include:

- Getting referred to a coach by a friend or colleague
- Asking for a CV, stating their specific coaching qualifications, focus and specialization
- Testimonials or references from other clients
- Registration with the International Coach Federation (not mandatory, but good to have as coaches need to pay for it)
- ask whether the coach is a full or part-time coach. A lot of coaches are multi-careered with other skills as well as coaching to their credit
- Always ask for a free sample session to find out whether you like the style of the coach. Most coaches offer free sample sessions.

So what should you look for in a free sample session ?
Typically good coaches will use and follow these principles:
• Listening is more important than talking
• What motivates people must be understood
• Everyone is capable of achieving more
• A person’s past is no indication of their future
• People’s beliefs about what is possible for themselves are their only limits
• A coach must always provide full support
• Coaches don’t provide the answers
• Coaching does not include criticising people
• All coaching is completely confidential
• Some people’s needs cannot be met by coaching , and coaches recognise clients with these needs

If a client decides to proceed with a coach after the sample session and initial meeting, a clear contract, with payment terms, confidentiality agreement and other logistical matters such as number of sessions, or whether the coaching will be in person or over the telephone should be agreed and signed.

Workshops are an alternative way to find out whether you like a certain coaches’ style. developandgrow offers a variety of workshops to get your toes into personal development and test the waters. Check out the event section for more information.